So two weeks ago we went back for yet another blood test. I expected it to be below 5 because of the way my numbers had been dropping so fast. Nope. 53. Ugh! Still, the doctor’s office seemed happy with this. Last Monday we went again. 56?! So, my miscarriage has “stalled.” Talked with the nurse at the doctor’s office. They wanted me to come in for the Methotrexate shot on Thursday. Explained that I had passed a big (well, at least I thought it was big) clot on Sunday. So they decided to test my levels again on Thursday, hoping that the clot would have taken care of anything else that was causing my numbers to be so wacky. 58. So, Friday, My loving (and patient) husband and I went to Lubbock for me to have THE SHOT.
Okay, I’m not a baby about having shots. I had to have allergy shots all the time growing up. It was really scary thinking that this medicine is a chemotherapy drug! Even though my nurse reassured me that it was a small dose and that I probably wouldn’t have any side effects, it was still scary. But, if I didn’t take it, I run the risk of infection or other complications. So right now, we are waiting until Thursday to test again. Please God, let it have gone down a lot! If it goes down by at least half, the doctor’s office is happy. If not, back to Lubbock for another shot. 4 1/2 weeks of “miscarrying”… I just want this to be over!
On a good note…we expressed our concern about when we would get to try again. This summer is bound to be a lot less stressful than the school year and we wanted to be able to try again in June. Our nurse said that was being very optimistic and that July looked better. Well, that gets into summer band for Keith, so July would probably not work. Then school (and stress) starts in August, so that month would probably not work. BUT, the doctor said June would be great (as long as my levels are below 5 before we start again). So right now, I am on birth control (I know, I know…birth control while trying to get pregnant?!) to regulate my cycle. At least now we know that, as long as my period starts after the birth control pills, we will be going back in about 3 weeks to start another iui cycle. YAY! That’s so much better than not knowing when or thinking we won’t be able to go back until September!
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever done this, but I calculated an estimated due date IF my period were to start immediately after the three weeks of birth control and IF we were to get pregnant during this next cycle…March 18th. I’m excited to start again.
I hope that I can focus on the trying again and stop thinking so much about the baby that I won’t ever get to hold. I think knowing that we have a timeline to start again has helped me to not be so focused on the miscarriage. Now, don’t get me wrong. I still think about it every day. I still have days that I feel like crying all day long. But they don’t come as often. Just trying to think good thoughts about June!