At 6 weeks, 5 days we had our first ultrasound. Our doctor asked all of the routine questions before she did the ultrasound. She knew we wouldn’t be able to answer questions after seeing our little one for the first time. She then did a transvaginal ultrasound. As she looked around, she said “I think I see someone!” It was amazing to see that little sac with the fetal pole. She looked around again and said, “I think I see someone else!!” TWINS!!! We were very excited at this point. We got to hear heartbeats and got many pictures to bring home. The heartbeats were at a great rate. Twin A was at 129 bpm and twin B was at 124 bpm.

At 9 weeks, 1 day we had our second ultrasound. Wow, how they had grown! We could see their heads and got to see their arms and legs moving around! Again, heart rates were great. Twin A was at 185 bpm and twin B was at 176 bpm.

At 10 weeks, 5 days we had our third ultrasound. And we thought they had grown a lot last time. It’s amazing to see how defined some body parts are! Heart rates were still great. Twin A was at 173 bpm and twin B was at 169 bpm.

At 12 weeks, 5 days we went in for our Nuchal Fold Translucency Scan. It was even more amazing. They were very active. We even got to see baby A do a flip when the technician was trying to get him/her to move a little. We were able to see fingers and toes, lungs, the stomachs, bladders, facial features… It’s hard to believe some people see this and still believe there is no God.

We are currently 19 weeks, 1 day along. Our next ultrasound is in two weeks. We will have an anatomy scan to make sure everything is working correctly and where is should be. We will also get to find out their genders!! I am so excited!!! I am starting to feel them move more often and a little stronger. Up until this time, it’s mostly been little taps around my waist and close to my pelvis. Today, I bent over and got a big push from one of them. I guess I was crowding him/her. I can’t wait for Keith to be able to feel them on the outside.

Everything seems to be going very well. I haven’t had morning sickness. (It’s okay, you can hate me if you’ve had to experience horrible morning sickness.) No cravings yet, but I do have some aversions, mostly because of the texture of the food. My only “symptom” is really tiredness. I am happy that my first trimester was taking place during the summer. I pretty much slept the summer away. Now that school has started back, I’m tired, but I’m managing. I have a pretty good size bump, but people are just now saying they are noticing it. I think it’s because I usually wear such baggy clothing. A little bit of swelling in my ankles, especially if I’ve been standing too long during the day.

We have a home fetal doppler that we bought many weeks ago. It is wonderful being able to hear their heartbeats every night. It is very reassuring! Plus, we can hear when they are kicking at a spot close to the doppler. Some nights, they are harder to find because they are so active. I can just see them making it into a game…who can play keep away from daddy.

We feel very blessed to be chosen by God as the parents of twins. We know it will be hard, but we keep telling ourselves that right now we don’t know any better. We have one crib set up in the nursery. Keith’s dad built it for our nieces and it was passed on to us. My dad is going to build one similar to it. We thought it would be neat to have one from each grandpa.

I will update again after we find out genders!!!

The next month, after the cyst was gone, we did our 5th iui cycle. Our doctor decided to “be a little more aggressive” this time. In addition to Clomid, I also took Femara. We also ended up doing extra days of the Gonal-F shots. By the time we were ready to do the iui, I had 3 mature follicles and 2 “maybe” follicles. I think the doctor would have stopped the cycle at that point if it had been our 1st or 2nd cycle, but since we were on our 5th cycle and had had so many unsuccessful cycles, she let us go ahead with it. Everything went well the day of the iui (other than having to miss church at home…we were able to go to church in the town where our doctor is). We waited, pretty patiently considering how impatient we were with the other cycles, for the day we could get a blood test done.

At 14 dpo, which just happened to be Mother’s Day, I took a test (expecting it to be negative since, even with our one successful iui, we didn’t get a positive hpt until much later). To my surprise…it was positive. I had Keith check it to make sure. We were going the next day to have our blood test done, so we didn’t tell anyone that evening as we celebrated Mother’s Day with Keith’s family. We wanted to make sure the numbers came back okay.

At 15dpo, we had our blood test. My hCG was 349! The nurse that called with our results let us know that the doctor said anything over 250 could be an indication of twins. We, of course, told family here in town right away. We weren’t going to tell friends until later, but excitement took over. I’m not sure how many people I told that day. We visited my parents that night to tell them. We told all family by giving them a picture frame with the word BABY down the side. Inside, I put a note that said “Project Under Construction…Estimated Completion Date: Jan. 2013.”

At 17dpo, we had our 2nd blood test. Now, this was the point at which we found out we were having a miscarriage last time, so we were a little nervous about this test. My hCG was 776!!

At 25 dpo, my hCG was 18,051!! We were very excited!!

So, iui #4 was not successful. We were pretty torn up about it. We had such high hopes since I had had surgery to get rid of endometriosis. BUT God had plans to work all of this (even our disappointment) for His glory! We ended up going out of town for the weekend because we just couldn’t face all of the questions from the people at church about whether or not it had worked. We decided to attend church at a church we had driven by many times. It was not a coincidence that we went there that Sunday. The message that day seemed to be just for us. It was called Plan B. (I’ve linked to it for anyone who wants to watch.) When we left, we sat in the car, crying, forever. God really spoke through this pastor to us that day.

What if my plan B (which isn’t what was supposed to happen) is really God’s plan A? What if the things I want in my life right now (like…a baby) are not happening because God has other, better plans for me?

We did a lot of talking and praying about what we heard and decided that, no matter what happened, we were going to fully put our trust in God and His timing. We know that God loves us and wants what is best for us. Our previous pastor said something in one of his sermons that I will never forget, but I was not following this advice…”If you worry, why pray? If you pray, why worry?” So, the worrying was done for us! We were fully putting this situation in God’s hands and (with a few backslides along the way) completely trusting that whatever His plan was would be the best.

We went back for another iui cycle the next month, but I had a cyst on one ovary. They said all of the medication would go to that cyst and make it grow instead of making follicle mature. So, we had to go back on birth control pills to help the cyst go down and wait another month. I was so glad we had made the decision to trust God with whatever happened. I think I may have given up at that point if I had left everything up to my worrisome thinking.

On February 3rd, we went back for our baseline ultrasound for our 4th iui. We did 5 days of clomid  on days 3-7 and then started Gonal-F shots (75iu). Went back on day 12 of my cycle and only had two follicles (one on each side) right around 10mm. The doctor prescribed 4 more days of Gonal-F. Went back on day 16 to find that they had not grown at all. They were both around 10mm. Our doctor prescribed Gonal-F (150iu) for 3 days. On day 19, the follicle on the right grew 1 mm, but on the left, I had 2 at 11mm, one at 14mm, and one at 15mm. So…we did two more days of shots (150iu) and went back on day 21. The follicle on the right did not grow, but on the left… we had two at 15.5, one at 18.5, and one at 19.5!! The iui was done this morning. Sperm count was 15 million after the wash. The doctor said they want at least 10 million, so we’re good there.

We are hoping that all the odds are in our favor. With the endometriosis taken care of, bigger (and hopefully stronger) follicles, and a stronger trigger shot (Novarel…HCG instead of Ovidrel) we are hoping this cycle will be successful. Lots of people praying for us…thank you! and lots of prayers going up from us. Hopefully this is God’s will and we’ll end up with a healthy pregnancy.

Our doctor had an emergency with another patient this morning, so the nurses did the iui. We felt okay with this. They’ve been doing a lot of our ultrasounds since the office is down to one doctor now and they’ve done a great job. But our doctor called us this afternoon to apologize for not being the one to do the iui. Not many doctors would do that. We are really happy with her and the nursing staff there.

2 and 1/2 weeks ago, I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. Our doctor found some patches of endometriosis and got rid of them. It was stage 2. Basically, it was enough that it could be causing us not to get pregnant, but it’s not enough that we need to move on to invitro. My uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes looked “perfect” (her words, not mine). My tubes are clear and she washed out all of the area where she found the endometriosis multiple times. She seemed very pleased with what she found and was very encouraging.

We went for a baseline ultrasound today to start our next iui cycle. We are very optimistic because having this surgery is supposed to increase our chances of conceiving. Also, I had to be on birth control for the surgery and the doctor said follicles usually grow better when coming off of birth control. Optimistic, but also praying for God’s will. I know there is a purpose for all of this, but I’m not sure yet what it is. Here’s a quote from a novel I’m reading right now that goes along with this situation: “You can’t know what God’s purpose is for the things that have happened until you see the end. It’s like the end of a good story. Everything looks real bad until you get to the last chapter.”

We sang the song “You Are God Alone” in church on Sunday. It’s great to have that reminder that God is on His throne in the good times and bad. Even though we have not been successful with ttc, God is still in control. He has a perfect plan for us. We want His will, even if it means not getting our will. I don’t know how God plans on using this bump in the road for His glory, but I am willing to do whatever He has planned for me.

Okay. Today was my estimated due date from my chemical pregnancy. I though it was going to be a rough day, but I’ve made it so far without any crying or feeling sorry for myself. I just wish I could have had a BFP by now. Oh well, there’s always next year…maybe.

So, our blood test was negative on Monday. Disappointed, but okay. We’re going to be taking a break for a while. Have to save up the money to try again. Will try to lose weight in the meantime. Can’t hurt.

Went back to the doctor to start our third iui cycle on June 18th. Our first monitoring ultrasound was not very good. No dominant follicles. Three follicles on our second monitoring ultrasound: 12, 10, and 8. Third monitoring ultrasound: 18 and 15.5. So, we had our iui done on July 5th. Feeling pretty good about it. Because the doctor’s office was closed, the on-call doctor (which happened to be the other doctor in the office) was there. She said everything looked good. So, now for the wait. As hard as I try, I can’t keep from thinking about it. Just trying to rest and not stress out about it. Hopefully the new puppy, cake decorating class, and everything I need to get done before school starts will help to keep my mind occupied.

Wow! The last few weeks have just flown by. School’s out, wonderful vacation in Seattle, vegetable garden planted…

So, last day of school – 5 days after the Methotrexate shot – I started having horrible cramping on my left side. Our nurse is always warning me that if I have a very severe pain on one side to call them immediately because it might indicate an ectopic pregnancy. So, we called and the doctor said to come in. Only problem was – we were in the middle of a tornado watch with the tornado alarms going off. So, we called from our stairwell to the basement and as soon as the alarms stopped we took off. I felt like I overreacted when we got there because the pain had stopped, but the doctor was very understanding. He opened up the office (they had been closed for a couple of hours), did an ultrasound, and drew blood (he did a better job than the lab at the local hospital). The ultrasound was clear. He said everything looked good and that I had wonderful ovaries. He thought the pain was just from the Methotrexate working. The blood work was sent off the next day. It was only 44, so the nurse told me to have it drawn again the day we left for Seattle. So, that morning, we got up really early and got to the lab just as it opened. Then we went home to wait for the results. We didn’t want to leave for Seattle if they might tell us to come in for another shot. When they called, the nurse gave me the best news to start our vacation! Negative! And today, my period started. So, we’re off to the doctor’s office tomorrow or Firday to start iui #3. Yay! I’m so excited and feeling very positive about this cycle!